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“Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realize how peaceful and calm it is. It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy.”
— Jim Carrey
“Forgive yourself for accepting less than you deserved - but don’t do it again.”
— Unknown
Blind people must save a lot on electricity.
They do actually!
I had a blind professor, last semester, and I swung through his office to make up an exam. It was a while before I knew he was in there because he was sitting with the lights off. I finally went in, apologized, and took the exam by the light of a nearby window (which was fine). Forty-five minutes into dead silence he panicked and yelled in this booming voiced, “WAIT, YOU CAN SEE!!!” before diving across his desk to turn on the lights. I’m sure he was embarrassed but I thought it was endearing and it highlighted a large aspect of disabled life that I hadn’t previously considered.
Sort of relatedly I once had professor who was deaf, but she had learned to read lips and speak so she could communicate easily with hearing people who didn’t know sign language. One day she had gotten off topic and was talking a little about her personal life, so that one of the students said “Oh, I know, I grew up in Brooklyn too.”
She stared at him for a long time and then said “How do you know I’m from Brooklyn?”
And he said “You have a Brooklyn accent.”
She said “I do?” and the whole class nodded, and then she burst out laughing and said “I had no idea! The school where I learned to speak was in Brooklyn. I learned by moving my mouth and tongue the way my teachers did. So I guess it makes sense that I have their accent, I just never thought about it.”
My moms a sign language interpreter, and she’s signed with people from all over the US. According to her, when she signs with people from the south they sign with a “drawl.” They have slower hand movements and exaggerate certain parts of the sign. People from the Midwest sign very fast and people from the south sign very slow.
So we were at a restaurant once and my mom started interpreting for someone who was trying to order and she was like “oh you’re from the south!”
And they were like “how did you know that?”
And she said “you sign with a drawl.” And they were really surprised that it came through that much.
It’s really interesting that even when not speaking verbally accents and heritage come through.
Humans are so fucking fascinating
Always Remember:
- kissing can and will, get boring.
- its ok to go to sleep on opposite sides.
- forgetting favorites, dates and replies is only human.
- you dont have to like, or be friends with all of their friends and vice-versa.
- they have a right to spend weekends dedicating to their friends and family. you have the same right.
- privacy is still in play.
- trying simple things that they like, no matter how much you are sure you will dislike it, is a very small step you can take to show your love to them.
- you dont gotta have the same taste in music, food, books etc.
- saying i love you, thank you, take care, please and i missed you really helps.
- you cant agree with all their life decisions and they cant with yours. keeping an open mind and having an honest and deep discussion about it helps.
- they dont need your permission to do things and neither you need theirs.
- the intention and care behind the gift matters. not its price tag.
- dont try and change them. help them become better versions of themselves and get the same help and support and care from them.
- know what matters most and focus on that.
Disagreement with those you love isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
It won’t be the same when you go back.